Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Backyard Bathroom

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. My mommy is here for a visit and we only get her for a few weeks so we've been soaking up all the Gramma time we can while she's here. I should have some backup posts ready for times like this but I don't. Maybe next time I'll be more prepared. Doubtful, but you never know, I may surprise you (and myself).

So, remember this sweet picture of my girl and Stinky Beagle?

Remember how I spoke of  their great love and friendship. Well, one of my most embarrassing moments as a parent involves these two with some help and prodding from Sonny Boy. And for some odd reason I feel compelled to tell you all about it. I think perhaps this is like free therapy for me. I feel that if I tell the masses about my most embarrassing moments that they won't embarrass me anymore. Not totally sound logic, but hey, that's my brain for you.

So when Princess Blondie was about four, we lived in a rental house in North Carolina. I have to admit that place was a bit of a dump, but we were only there temporarily so we sucked it up and just dealt with it. The thing that my kids loved most about that place was all the junk that was left in the yard. There were old boards, bricks, pavers, pipes, siding. The stuff kids' dreams are made of. There was also a large ditch in the back yard for drainage. You know the kind that generally is in your front yard near the road? Well, we had one in the back yard, for whatever reason. Presumably for drainage reasons. Sonny Boy took one look at all of that junk in the back yard and started building a fort and a bridge over the ditch. 

While we lived at this house my son discovered the joy of peeing outside. Having spent the entirety of his life on an Air Force base we didn't encourage peeing outside. It doesn't always sit well with the neighbors. But at this house we had only one neighbor and the rest was surrounded by woods. The perfect yard for peeing outside. DH had apparently had a conversation with Sonny Boy and told him that sometimes it was ok for boys to pee outside, but generally use of the indoor bathroom is preferred. 

Somehow, this information was leaked to Princess Blondie. She was not yet old enough to understand that things that are true for boys are not always true for girls. The mechanics of outdoor peeing are not quite the same for both sexes, but she had to give it a shot anyway. The place of choice was off the bridge that they had built in the backyard. 

But it couldn't just end there. That would make my life way too simple and way less embarrassing. So now that Princess Blondie had discovered the joy of peeing outside, she decided to try out her other option. 

Now here is how all of this really went down. I was in the house doing homework (I was still working on my bachelor degree) while the kids were playing outside. They came tearing into the house yelling "MOM! Stinky Beagle ate poop!" Not totally odd, considering she is a dog, but still really gross. But then I got to thinking. I know the dog doesn't eat her own poop and we have a fenced in yard, so where was this other poop coming from? I asked them what poop she ate and they told me "The poop by the bridge," and "I don't know."  Typical. Luckily my Sonny Boy loves to tattle on his sister so he eventually told me the source of the poop. His sister.

Princess Blondie had pooped while squatting on the side of the bridge and our dog then discovered it and ate it. I think I gagged a little then when the full truth was finally revealed. And then I went out in the yard and brushed my dog's teeth.
With extra toothpaste.

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