I really have no words for this

Two weeks ago we went to Colony Days in Palmer. We watched the longest small town parade ever, and then went to a free BBQ at a local church. The kids played games and climbed trees. Then I witnessed something of a first for me.

Here we are hanging out after our free lunch thanks to St. John's Lutheran Church. That's when we noticed the firetruck behind us starting to extend his ladder.

The ladder extended out all the way and then someone climbed out on the ladder to nothing carrying a bag of something.

That's when I noticed the target drawn in sidewalk chalk directly under the ladder.

He then dropped the bag of stuff on the target. This is where I put two and two together and realized that they were having some sort of raffle thing and the winner was the one who was the closest to the center of the target.

Some guy went to pick out the winning "thing" from the center of the target.

That is when I noticed what was actually being used in this raffle.
Can you guess?

You got it, it's moose poop.

Someone actually collected moose poop, dried it, shellacked it, and wrote tiny numbers on it so that it could be thrown from a firetruck extension ladder at a giant target.
I apparently just witnessed the Moose Poop Palooza put on by the Kiwanis Club of Palmer.

If you think that this is the weirdest thing that has ever been done with moose poop, you are wrong.
Very, very wrong.

I now present to you, courtesy of Etsy,

moose poop earrings.

Look, he even put tiny little gem stones in these.

There are also necklaces and broaches.

You can view more of these precious gems here. 

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Backyard Bathroom

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted. My mommy is here for a visit and we only get her for a few weeks so we've been soaking up all the Gramma time we can while she's here. I should have some backup posts ready for times like this but I don't. Maybe next time I'll be more prepared. Doubtful, but you never know, I may surprise you (and myself).

So, remember this sweet picture of my girl and Stinky Beagle?

Remember how I spoke of  their great love and friendship. Well, one of my most embarrassing moments as a parent involves these two with some help and prodding from Sonny Boy. And for some odd reason I feel compelled to tell you all about it. I think perhaps this is like free therapy for me. I feel that if I tell the masses about my most embarrassing moments that they won't embarrass me anymore. Not totally sound logic, but hey, that's my brain for you.

So when Princess Blondie was about four, we lived in a rental house in North Carolina. I have to admit that place was a bit of a dump, but we were only there temporarily so we sucked it up and just dealt with it. The thing that my kids loved most about that place was all the junk that was left in the yard. There were old boards, bricks, pavers, pipes, siding. The stuff kids' dreams are made of. There was also a large ditch in the back yard for drainage. You know the kind that generally is in your front yard near the road? Well, we had one in the back yard, for whatever reason. Presumably for drainage reasons. Sonny Boy took one look at all of that junk in the back yard and started building a fort and a bridge over the ditch. 

While we lived at this house my son discovered the joy of peeing outside. Having spent the entirety of his life on an Air Force base we didn't encourage peeing outside. It doesn't always sit well with the neighbors. But at this house we had only one neighbor and the rest was surrounded by woods. The perfect yard for peeing outside. DH had apparently had a conversation with Sonny Boy and told him that sometimes it was ok for boys to pee outside, but generally use of the indoor bathroom is preferred. 

Somehow, this information was leaked to Princess Blondie. She was not yet old enough to understand that things that are true for boys are not always true for girls. The mechanics of outdoor peeing are not quite the same for both sexes, but she had to give it a shot anyway. The place of choice was off the bridge that they had built in the backyard. 

But it couldn't just end there. That would make my life way too simple and way less embarrassing. So now that Princess Blondie had discovered the joy of peeing outside, she decided to try out her other option. 

Now here is how all of this really went down. I was in the house doing homework (I was still working on my bachelor degree) while the kids were playing outside. They came tearing into the house yelling "MOM! Stinky Beagle ate poop!" Not totally odd, considering she is a dog, but still really gross. But then I got to thinking. I know the dog doesn't eat her own poop and we have a fenced in yard, so where was this other poop coming from? I asked them what poop she ate and they told me "The poop by the bridge," and "I don't know."  Typical. Luckily my Sonny Boy loves to tattle on his sister so he eventually told me the source of the poop. His sister.

Princess Blondie had pooped while squatting on the side of the bridge and our dog then discovered it and ate it. I think I gagged a little then when the full truth was finally revealed. And then I went out in the yard and brushed my dog's teeth.

With extra toothpaste.

The way to a girl's heart

Well, at least it is the way to this girl's heart. It might not do it for everyone.

DH came home the other day with a gift for me. 

 Now it certainly doesn't happen very often, so I was very excited when he brought me this

and this

and this

and this

and this.

But what really made my heart go pitter patter was...

this!

Isn't it beautiful? I have wanted one for a long time and DH brought one home for me and it wasn't even my birthday or Mother's Day. Want to know the best part about this gorgeous garbage can? You can't leave fingerprints on it! Now if only my dishwasher, oven, and refrigerator would follow suit and refuse to let fingerprints take up residence on them.

Want to know the very best part about this garbage can?

It replaced this one. 

I'm actually very embarrassed to show you this picture. Ick. Dirty nasty garbage can with stains all over it. I actually wiped that one down and it still looks like that. This one is most definitely not fingerprint proof. Grody.

Now please don't judge me by the nastiness of my old garbage can. I'm really a nice girl.

Puppy Love

Once upon a time, DH went to the pound and picked out a dog.

Stinky Beagle then promptly decided that I was her one true love and DH has talked of wanting to get another dog since the day we got her. That was over five years ago. Someday, I'm sure that he'll get his dog that will love him better than anyone. 

But it surely is not this dog. She already has her favorites.

Princess Blondie was cooking away in my womb and I think she lept for joy when Stinky Beagle came to be my third child.

Ever since she could walk she would follow Stinky Beagle around.

And sit in her bed.

This is the day she decided that Stinky Beagle needed saving and read to her from the Bible.

"Thou shalt not steal my goldfish crackers from my hand and eat them."

I'm pretty sure that is the eleventh commandment. Or maybe it's one of those really obscure laws from Leviticus.

Stinky Beagle was also good sister for Princess Blondie's baby doll.

Tuck you in...

Kiss you good night.

Don't let the bedbugs bite.

Stinky Beagle was also good for playing tug of war with,

wrestling with,

inspecting bugs with,

and she was great for hugging.

Stinky Beagle is also great 

for taking naps with,

playing games with,

and using as a table.

Truer friends there could never be.

But Princess Blondie had better watch out for this guy.

My nephew's first word was Stinky Beagle's name.

She has now got some competition for who loves Stinky Beagle the most.

Posers

My children have now learned the fine art of posing for the vacation picture.

They have taken to it quite well.When you are camping in a National Park you don't have that many things to pose with. My children decided that rocks were the answer. National parks have rocks in abundance.

DH willingly obliged to be a rock poser with the chilluns.

The 'big rock' pose.

My personal favorite, the 'middle of a parking lot rock' pose. 

Because nothing says nature like asphalt, a tour bus, and a hotel.

Sonny Boy needs to work on his rock posing smile. He makes weird faces. The only way to get a normal looking smile is to make him laugh.

And now we go for the double pose. Because one is not enough. 

Pose numero uno.

And the slight variation of pose numero uno, I give you pose numero dos.

And another double pose. 

This is the casual, 'hey, I'm just hanging out on a rock' pose.

And now the more formal  'standing on a rock' pose.

This is the 'we ran out of rocks, but here is a nice bench' pose.

And this is the obligatory 'I'm standing by the sign so you will all know that I was here' pose.

We didn't stop at the Denali park entrance sign, so we had to substitute the Savage River elevation sign. Because you all have a burning need to know the Savage River elevation, I can tell.

And finally....

The 'I'm just chillin on a bridge' pose. 

I also like to call this one the 'Do not lean back or you will give your mother a heart attack' pose.

The Littlest Poser was tired and cranky at this point and opted out of the bridge pose. 

Thus concludes the tutorial, Vacation Picture Posing 101.

I hope you learned some valuable techniques.

Liar, liar, pants on fire...

So I just discovered a picture of a bear that we did see while we were in Denali. 

And I told you we didn't see any. 

I'm turning into such a liar.

We saw this angry mama while checking out the tourist trap of Healy.

The kids asked to have their picture taken with her. Sonny Boy decided that the best possible way to pose would be to crawl between her legs. 

You may now witness the birth of the first man-cub-bear-child.

Come on, Mama. One more push....

And here is your 65 pound beautiful bouncing baby boy, Mama. And his sister.

Congratulations.

No more tricks up my sleeve

I used to love rainy days. It was the perfect excuse to curl up with a good book and do nothing but read all day. Or watch old tv shows or movies. I have a very vivid memory as a kid of watch Magnum PI with my siblings on a rainy, Michigan summer day.

Now that I have kids I don't enjoy rainy days as much as I used to. I try to curl up with a good book but I always seem to be interrupted by two children with too much pent up energy. Waaaayyy too much pent up energy. Sometimes I still kick them outside anyway. In the winter it's easy to send them outside. Just bundle them up first. Summer is best, I don't even care if they have shoes on. Just don't come in the house if you are completely filthy. Please take your clothes off on the porch and hose your feet off before you come in. They know the rules (not that they follow them). But rainy days are harder. They quickly run out of things to do and are soon back in the house begging to watch cartoons. 

I try to be the good mother that doesn't let her kids watch tv all day on rainy days, but I do like to keep a lid on my sanity so I sometimes falter on the tv rule. They were bored of books, games, and mostly each other. So I whipped out Mary Poppins and for 2 hours they were quiet as church mice. But that was yesterday. Rain seems to come in streaks of at least four or so days here. It is day 2 and I am already running on fumes of patience with them. 

This one even bit his sister today.

It looked like a giant rabbit bit her hand because all he has are two (quite large) front teeth at the moment. He hasn't bit anyone since he was 2 years old. He is now going on 8. I have clearly lost control of the household.

Oh how I wish Mary Poppins would float down with her umbrella and carpet bag and save my sanity. 

But, hallelujah, let the angels sing. It is the weekend. Daddy is home. I believe it's his turn. Tag, you're it.